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Change can feel overwhelming! Whether it’s one change that feels HUGE or we have too many changes we’d like to make, creating change in our lives can easily make us feel overwhelmed and tired from the get-go.
So how do we make change feel LESS overwhelming and WHY does it feel overwhelming. Why do we find it SO hard to change certain habits? Why is it so easy to go back to things, when we know we need to change them or want to?
In this episode, I explore and share some resources and ideas to help us understand why change can feel so overwhelming and simple things we can to do overcome that.
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Bruce Liptons YouTube Video //
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Speaker 1: ([00:00])
Hi there and welcome to searching for better. I’m Julia, and I’m the blogger behind searching for better.net, which is now the podcast searching for better is all about exploring ideas on how to find our path in life and to live it wholeheartedly. So welcome to our share, and I really, really hope you enjoy it.
Speaker 2: ([00:22])
Hi guys, and welcome to this episode of searching for better. So in this episode today, I want to go through how to make a change and creating new habits less overwhelming. So I’m going to share one simple idea. That’s truly
Speaker 3: ([00:35])
Helped me to create
Speaker 2: ([00:38])
New habits and make change less overwhelming, less scary, but also have helped me to really understand how change is created. So in getting straight into it today, um, I found a really great author. Um, a speaker. His name is Dr. Bruce Lipton and his book is called biology of belief. And it was really interesting because he talks about how our habits and actions, uh, are situated in our subconscious mind. And he refers to those as our programming. And then he goes on to explain how this programming, you know, the programming of our beliefs and our habits and our actions, um, happens from the age of zero to seven. Obviously, it can change going forward depending on situations and experiences, but a lot of our beliefs and a lot of our, for example, the way we react is held in that area. That’s developed from zero to seven.
Speaker 2: ([01:32])
Now Amy’s example, he gives, um, he gives a really interesting example about someone who’s wealthy on someone who’s less wealthy. And he speaks about the subconscious beliefs that help keep wealthy people wealthy versus less wealthy people, less wealthy. And he says, it’s because of the programming that we have. So for example, even if the person who’s more wealthy has perhaps maybe not as interesting ideas as a person that’s less wealthy, it’s essentially easier for the person who is currently wealthy to continue that wealth because they’re from an environment and their beliefs are so ingrained in them. Their habits are so ingrained in them around creating money. That’s the environment they have been through and that’s the programming they have been through. Whereas someone who is less wealthy might have more of a challenge in creating that foundation for themselves, because they’ve come from a situation with, you know, a programming situation that might stem from poverty, um, certain beliefs.
Speaker 2: ([02:27])
So for me, that really resonated with me in a particular way, because honor for me that working for myself and creating these opportunities and putting myself out there has been a real challenge. And what I really couldn’t understand was why I struggled with it so much, especially when I know certain people that put themselves out there that don’t struggle with it as much as I do. And obviously, I know that that self-comparison game can be quite, um, detrimental, but it was interesting to understand, I suppose, why for certain people, something is easier versus, for me, I found it very difficult. And I think that for me, that definitely stemmed from understanding this, that I’ve just explained about the Suncoast subconscious and the programming. And for me, I came from a family where my background was really heavily about white-collar jobs and universities and degrees because obviously, I had grandparents who came here with nothing who struggled to give us opportunities.
Speaker 2: ([03:22])
And for them, that opportunity was symbolized by success in the way of white-collar jobs, lawyers, accountants, that sort of corporate world success, which I understand for some people that will definitely symbolize success. And I think if that is important to you, that’s amazing. But I know for me that that was a path I really struggled with because I wasn’t genuinely interested in, obviously I love this sort of work. And so for me, there was a big struggle to really get comfortable with this work and really get moving and taking action in this type of field. Because my programming for so long had been that this was not, this was not in any way, shape or form or should be someone’s form of success. Success meant a corporate job and a certain job path and marriage and kids at a certain age. And so learning and understanding that that’s where my programming stemmed from an understanding why I found this work.
Speaker 2: ([04:12])
So challenging was really interesting and helped me to become more self-aware. And if that’s a topic that you’re interested in, I did do an episode on that last week. So make sure to check that out. So as I was starting getting into this topic, I also picked up the book how to do the inner work by the holistic psychologist, which is Nicola para. And it was so interesting because she talks about, obviously every time we try to create change or create a new habit, for example, when I’m trying to create change in this area of my life and create a habit of creating content, putting myself out there, what I’m actually doing is I’m challenging my programming. I’m challenging my way of thinking. And I’m challenging those beliefs that are ingrained in me that have been there since zero to seven, since I was a child.
Speaker 2: ([04:57])
So what happens is the subconscious has this thing where when we challenge it, it starts to feel unsafe. And that’s when we start to feel that resistance, that challenge that procrastination. That’s why change becomes so hard because we’re challenging programs at our subconscious feel a safe. So this is really the easiest thing because I love when this comes up in real life examples. So I was walking with a friend the other day, and she’s obviously trying to work on a nervous system, trying to get more calm. And again, that’s something that we speak about in the previous episode on awareness, which is really good because it’s so important when it comes to change. But anyway, she was talking about how she wanted to get into yoga, and this was recommended by a naturopath. And she said to me, oh, I’m really excited. Um, I’ve set to do 30 minutes a day and she is great, super busy mom.
Speaker 2: ([05:44])
And she’s really, she’s a great mom and she’s always busy. And so I kind of laughed a bit because I understood where she was coming from. And I think I’m exactly the same every time I’ve wanted to create some sort of change, for example, this work, I’m like, that’s it, I’m going to record every single day, um, all day. And I really put these really high expectations on myself. Also when it comes to fitness, I was exactly the same. I used to be like, okay, I need to get it to work out routine. I’m going to go from zero to a hundred and just start working out five days a week. I’m really pushing myself. And what happens is, again, it goes back to the subconscious goes, okay. She wants to make a change. This is way too much. I can’t do this. This is too stressful.
Speaker 2: ([06:20])
The mental resistance comes in and then we’re challenged. And again, keeping in mind that we’re trying to change ourselves and our sense of self and our sense of self has developed over years. So making those changes can take time and we need to give ourselves time. So I really loved what the Hillary six psychologists said, and that was to practice a small daily promise. And first I love the language of this because it throws out the window, that idea of habit. And instead, instead goes back to promise. And I really liked this idea. I think it’s a more gentle way of approaching the idea of habits. So she started with five minutes or less focused on one thing. So as I was walking with my friend, I was discussing it with her because I was saying, you know, when we do something for five minutes or less, it’s really interesting.
Speaker 2: ([07:02])
It kind of flies under the radar of the subconscious. So there’s less of that resistance because the subconscious is like, oh, she’s doing something different, but it’s only for five minutes so I can handle it. So I really liked this idea and it really helped. So what I started to do was only practicing for five minutes. So breath work, for example, I said to my friend, I get where you’re coming from with the yoga gimme coming from, yes, it has heaps of benefits, but it’s not just in the length of time, but the fact that we’re consistent in doing a habit that creates change, right? Because we can do something for 30 minutes and never do it again. Or we could do it over a week, five minutes each day, which adds up to 30 minutes, but we’ve also created that consistency. And what I think is personally really rewarding, which is we’ve been consistent in showing up for ourselves.
Speaker 2: ([07:47])
So I do think that that’s something to focus on when it comes to making change lists overwhelming. So first is choosing one thing to focus on and only focusing on that thing for five minutes. So for me, it was breathwork. And I only, and I said to our only bright breath for five, I breathe every all day every day, but I only practice breathwork for five minutes a day. That’s it. I don’t try to challenge myself anymore until I feel like I can. And some days there are days where I feel I can go for longer. So my timer goes off. I turn it off and I go for longer those days, but I just try to practice for five minutes. And this was something that I said to her with her yoga, she’s really busy. She’s like I said, she’s a busy mom.
Speaker 2: ([08:26])
She’s a great mom. And I think that sometimes we overdo it in that we try to think that we need a long habit for a habit to be successful. But the idea of a small promise is less overwhelming. We have less mental resistance. And I think the chances of us being more consistent is important as well. And it goes back to my main things, which helps us to be more self compassionate and curious. So instead of forcing ourselves to do something we’re practicing with gentle slow movement. So for me, the breath work five minutes is enough. And I said to her five minutes of yoga is enough because again, it’s about being consistent and showing up for yourself every day. And five minutes is still, even if it’s a minute, it’s still enough to create change because change happens through repetition. So the way that we change things in our subconscious is two ways we either do hypnosis or we do repetition.
Speaker 2: ([09:15])
So the idea of a small daily promise is the fact that we a find something that doesn’t really overwhelm our subconscious through change and bring up that major mental resistance and B it’s something that can help us to be consistent. And in that consistency, we create repetition, which is what helps us to change that programming. So for me, the breath work five minutes a day has made a huge change and I will share the breath work meditation that I do, which is free. It’s on insight timer. Sometimes I’ll do my own breath, breath work by myself. And sometimes if I feel like a more guided meditation, I’ll use that, but that has truly been game changing. Five minutes is all we need to, to create a change and to make it less overwhelming because again, it flies under the radar. Uh, and also, you know, with our busy schedules, I think five minutes is something more achievable until we get into that habit and we’re ready to make it, um, a longer habit.
Speaker 2: ([10:09])
So again goes back to five minutes, choose one thing. And don’t forget that the importance of the five minutes is the consistency. And the fact that we’re creating that repetition and challenging that subconscious in a healthy way, that feels less threatening. So I hope that really helps. I hope that really resonates with you. This has been a lot shorter of an episode, but I feel like it’s just straight to the point. And I do want to emphasize one more thing when it comes to creating change, choose something that works for you. I know there’s a lot of pressure to stick to things that are kind of in that popular culture, but until something feels right for you, stick to what, like I said, stick to what feels right for you. I think that’s the most important point. And an example that I think of is from the holistic psychologist where she said she had one client who literally just focused on drinking one glass of water a day.
Speaker 2: ([10:57])
And that was it that worked for her. That was the thing that helped her to create true, true lasting change. So choose something and just do it for five minutes, maybe instead of, um, practicing an exercise, it could just be walking out the door and walking for five minutes. It has to be something truly simple, but something that really resonates with you. So I hope you liked this episode and don’t forget, take what resonates, leave what doesn’t. And if you like this content, don’t forget to subscribe to our membership, wait list. The membership, wait list is all about this type of content, where I dig deep into these types of topics about how we can become who we truly want to be and how we can overcome self-doubt and procrastination to create the life that we really want for ourselves. So if that’s something you’re interested in and you want to join a community, then make sure to subscribe to the waitlist below because I’ll only be sharing, uh, the, when the enrollment opens with the wait list. So otherwise I will catch you in the next episode. Thank you so much for listening.